bottled & long distance

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حافظ خير
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اشترك في: الاثنين مايو 09, 2005 6:23 pm

bottled & long distance

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صورة

ح.خ
آخر تعديل بواسطة حافظ خير في الجمعة أكتوبر 13, 2006 5:37 pm، تم التعديل مرة واحدة.
ايمان شقاق
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اشترك في: الأحد مايو 08, 2005 8:09 pm

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Salam H.K
Nice, can we hear parts of these poems
?
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اشترك في: الاثنين مايو 09, 2005 6:23 pm

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[align=left]Hi ya Iman

Ya, it makes sense to wonder about how they sound; I actually "wrote" them by voicing them to myself while walking! I suggest you try that! Otherwise I send you a voicemail

thanks for reading this, and commenting

h.k
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[font=Verdana][align=left]these poems convey great pain. the pain of loss. the pain of absence . the pain of waiting in vain. the pain of modern technology when it converts human interaction into sms and clicks, and virtualizes the intimacy of direct communications and conversations between lovers

in the midst of loss and absence, the poet displays huge mental anguish verging on psychosis, when he writes about hearing voices and seeing things that are not there. this is termed in the annals of psychiatry as visual and audio hallucinations, which could be induced by emotional as well as by substance abuse

i really enjoyed reading these poems. and felt the pain, the grea pain which, purportedly, produced them
is there greater pain than the pain of loss, the loss of a loved one?
the answer machine has frozen the voice, the voice of the loved one, in time and space, like a question mark hanging from a billboard in leicester square in london.
absence is always defined by its opposite, the presence of nonpresence
and waiting in vain
sos
please go back to him. to the one who loved you, who loves you

thank you hafiz kheir for sharing this anguish with us
There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Mark Twain
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اشترك في: الاثنين مايو 09, 2005 6:23 pm

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[align=left]Dear Adil,

It seems my experimenting with these mobile songs (intended to be playful and joyful love poems) had struck a rather different cord with you! talk about the death of the author! and, indeed, about writers loosing the right and ability to arrest meaning in their own writing! Interpretation is a tricky business, and who has the right to fix permanent meaning to words anyway?!

glad you read and responded…

h.k
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[align=left]
Dear Hafiz
.I enjoyed your peoms
"?And, yes, you are right " who has the right to fix permanent meanings to words, anyway
.I find Mr. Adil Othman's comments very offensive
.He poses as a psychiatrist and "diagnoses" the poet wih psychosis
. He even refers to an alleged substance abuse in a very insensitive way
?If this is literary criticism then what is downright insult
Regards
mustafa mudathir
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[align=left]What’s offensive or insulting about my comments on the poems of Hafiz as indicated, rather hastily, by Mustafa Mudathir?

This is my reading and my interpretation of these poems.

I never claimed to write or comment in the capacity of a literary critic!
People are different. They approach the texts differently. They see them in different ways. And, hence, they render different understandings and different interpretations.

Hafiz, aptly, referred to the fact that the author/writer, can not and should not arrest or fix the meaning(s) of their creative endeavour.
In a way, I am rewriting these poems by commenting the way I did.

The angle of looking at things, the perception, the comprehension, are not (rule of the thumb) as they say.
There is not a single, absolute, finished, whole, holistic, complete, final, closed, fixed rendering of any text or subtext.
I find Mustafa Mudathir’s comments -about my comments- simplistic, shallow, judgemental and resentful
!
They are not acceptable in a healthy, democratic and liberal environment of creative writing and creative reading of texts.
There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Mark Twain
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[align=left]it never occurred to me that these poems might create a "heated" exchange of words! but am in a good mood! Am excited, cause some other good things came out of these songs too... Also, my poem Halal Meat, which I published first in this website, appeared in The Wolf magazine for poetry, alongside works by very exciting old and new British poets; I must say it felt good!

Welcoming you ya Mutafa Mudathir and am glad you passed by, and read this...
h.k

why are my punctuations are all mixed up?.
here we go again
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[align=left]
ِِِCongratulations Hafiz for being published
Keeps up posted
.You are so excited you want us to skip the "heated" exchange, as you described it
:Well let me say a word or two to Mr Adil Othman
.Nothing makes my comments unacceptable and yours accepatable
?But were they just comments
.I think I had an insight into how you function as a "learned" person
Go back to how uncautiously and inaccurately you have applied your
probably newly acquired knowledge to
describe in unartistic terms Hafiz's work
which happened to be a work of art and not merely a display of
"terms"
As for calling me shallow, I think you need a profound
.change to sound credible in that
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Hafiz
beautiful poem, thanks for sharing.
Adil
excellent analytical approach, impressive, fine, proper, deep (to the bone). I truly respect your enlightening diverse mastery critique, the piece is well woth it
Elmelik [b]
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the author did not die, as we have been told
the author got the good mood
and the reader(s) the blues
or the heated exchange of things

words

for a semi alcoholic like me, and my brothers alkashifs,
when I/we hear the word bottled, there is only one image
that jump to my brains, did I say brains? well, brains
has it to do with bottles or brains, who cares? not me

صورة
sources: for the sake of intellctual property rights: www.scraftbookunlimited.com

and not to say, the fear of

صورة

www.painetworks.com

Bob Dylan, always Dylan
it takes a lot to laugh, it takes a train to cry

it takes nothing or all to have a voice bottled

صورة

happyc.pitapat.com

I liked the poems
but still got the feeling : you are writing in arabic
they came to me as translated pieces
that may only to do with me
not with the author who is in good mood

cheeeeeeeeers
Some people think they are thinking, while
they are merely rearranging their prejudices
ايمان شقاق
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اشترك في: الأحد مايو 08, 2005 8:09 pm

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If i may, would like to say to Isam, I think the poet meant a bottle of SMS (short message service or text messages!) which is his SOS (Help!) from getting desperate of waiting!
I think these poems are funny (in a good way) & playful! After all he called them mobile poems!

congratulations H.K

best to all
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[align=left]Hi Iman
You're right Hafiz meant that bottle one desperatley throws in the sea seeking help
but I remember finding one in port sudan with a love message in it apparently
. to a girl in port sudan itself, so the guy was a bit crazy or the bottle had crazy stuff in it
!But look at the word slither in "bottled"? what a choice of word ya hafiz
?Another thing, in "long distance", did you mean self-inflicted or inflected
I will be back with more reflections
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I don't want to spoil Hafiz's post. So, I will refrain from responding to the shallow, simplistic, agitated ranting of Mustafa Mudathir!
There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Mark Twain
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Salam Iman

[quote]I think these poems are funny (in a good way) & playful[/quote

thanks for the explanations

I got Hafiz's (bottled) message, I just wanted to asarbi with him/others
as the pieces hit a different cord with me, yes , you are right ,they are funny and playful like the poet himself
I also wanted to break the heated exchange, I wonder how can people read
those lovely lines and then start a shakla
long face to Adil and Mustafa
guys do you know the song: message in a bottle performed by the police, Sting and co.,I know Iam old
but it is a lovely song..

[font=Comic Sans MS]Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh
Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh
More loneliness than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair, oh

Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah

A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life but
Love can break your heart
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah

Walked out this morning, dont believe what I saw
Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore
Seems Im not alone at being alone
Hundred billion castaways, looking for a home
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
Ill send an s.o.s. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
Message in a bottle, yeah
Message in a bottle, yeah

Sending out at an s.o.s.
Sending out at an s.o.s.
Sending out at an s.o.s.[/font
]
Some people think they are thinking, while
they are merely rearranging their prejudices
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اشترك في: الاثنين مايو 09, 2005 10:26 pm
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[align=left]Hi Isam
Good revival of memory is better than a worthless fight. This is the seventies man
This and
"Walking on the Moon"
I didn't know you are so old you
know the Police
?"Speaking of the police why don't you "bring" him to my helpless "fighter
?
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اشترك في: الاثنين مايو 09, 2005 6:23 pm

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[align=left]Hello to all’uf-ya good friends!
said good things may come out of this; see?
and now I got two new senses of the word bottled, thanks to Issam Jabralla, who, as always, likes to point
one’s attention to the “somewhere else”, while still holding tight to the overhead railing of the bus; he remains
the dizzy and fog-headed person I seem to know… (there’re some
skills only poets, and refined drinkers, can muster together!)… thanks for Bob Dylan

Welcome Taj-al-Sir al-Malik, and welcoming the usual suspects, again
(as always, inflections and inflictions of all shades and sorts are welcomed!)
h.k
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[align=left]and, yes, thanks to Mustafa Mudathir who spotted the typo in line 6 in long distance
and of course I meant to type self-inflicted

h.k
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اشترك في: الأحد مايو 08, 2005 8:09 pm

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Hi every one,
you are right Mustafa, Hafiz uses words in a creative & unusual manner
ya Issam,
Sting has good songs, I like best his song "Fragile" which tells nothing good comes from violence and humans forget how fragile they are (i think he wrote it after 9/11)! it's in his "all this time" album.

حافظ خير كتب:[align=left]
I suggest you try that! Otherwise I send you a voicemail


I already tried, and it's your turn now!

8-)
حسن موسى
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اشترك في: الجمعة مايو 06, 2005 5:29 pm

Charabia britanica

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[align=left]
Hé les gars !
kesskisspass?
Vous avez donné votre langue( arabe) au chat ou quoi ?
Si vous continuez à baratiner le monde avec votre charabia britanique,
nous on peut vous tartiner des pages et des pages en Français.
En suite on demandera à nos amis en Allemagne, en Espagne ,
en Russie et en Chine de vous balancer leurs blabla respectives
en langues d’ emprunt
ولا شنو ؟
Monsieur Musa
أضف رد جديد